Ryanair Issue Brexit Warning.  The budget airline have announced drastic measures which will be brought into place after Brexit.

Ryanair Issue Brexit Warning

Budget airline Ryanair Issue Brexit Warning.  The airline have expressed concern over flights from the UK to Europe after Brexit, warning that there could be serious disruption if a bilateral agreement is not reached by September 2018.

If an agreement is not in put into place, airlines could face increased costs and administration charges to be able to continue to use British airspace.  Ryanair today announced drastic measures which would affect travellers between the UK and Malaga here on the Costa Del Sol.

New Measures

The new measures would see Ryanair still offering flights from the UK to Malaga and the new Malaga Merida airports, but these flights would avoid British airspace altogether.  The plan includes collecting passengers from the airport of their choice in the UK, then shuttling passengers to an alternative airport in northern France.

Paddy Pogmothoin says disruption will be minimal.

Paddy Pogmothoin is the head of Ryanair’s Department For Things Which Are Unlikely To Ever Happen But Will Scare People Anyway.  He told Costa Del Sol Update that disruption would be minimal.  “It will be just like taking a plane, except you will be on the ground at first.  We will collect people from the airport car park, take them to Dover, through the Channel Tunnel, and to an airport in Northern France where the rest of the journey will be undertaken in our usual luxury aircraft”.

“The advantage is that there will be no long airport check in queues in Britain, and we will have a tent in the car park selling all the usual duty free luxury items.  You won’t miss out on your Armani fragrances or your duty free Apple iPads this way”.

Malaga To The UK

Return journeys to the UK could prove more problematic after Brexit, as Mr Pogmothoin has given details of proposed travel arrangements.  “Passengers will get on a plan in Malaga as normal, where they will be issued with a parachute and basic operating instructions.  To avoid flying through British airspace, passengers will disembark from 20,000 feet over the Channel, and complete their journey using the blue and yellow Ryanair parachute”.

Mr. and Mrs. Dethwysh from Scunthorpe testing the new Ryanair return flight solution.

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Luggage

Some travellers have voiced concerns about their luggage on the return journey.  Ryanair are saying that the luggage will be jettisoned on parachutes at the same time as the passengers, who will be able to use GPS to locate their bags when they land in the UK for a small additional charge.

Ryanair Return Flight Charges

Currently return flights from East Midlands to Malaga can cost as little as €60.  However the new proposed travel plans would see those costs increase.  A Ryanair press release says that “we will still be offering budget travel, with a few extra compulsory fees.  These will include a baggage handing fee, land based vehicle surcharge, a channel tunnel surcharge, a French passport control surcharge, and a parachute surcharge for the return flights.  This will be less than €2000 per person.”

Remain voters will be offered discounts.

Discounts For Remain Voters

To show solidarity with Europe, Ryanair have said that they will offer travel discounts to British passengers who voted remain in the Brexit referendum.  Seamus O’Shyte is the Ryanair Director Of Unreasonable Hidden Charges.  He says “If passengers can prove that they voted to remain in Europe, we will waive the baggage handling fee.  That will save about €30 per customer.  There will be a €45 processing fee for anyone applying for the discount though”.

Irate Customers

Billy McBahlsack from Birmingham says this new Brexit warning will ruin his planned family holiday for 2019.  He told Costa Del Sol Update “I’m not from Birmingham actually, I’m from Lichfield.  We always have a luxury 2 star almost all-inclusive break in Torremolinos every summer.  This Brexit thing will destroy our holidays.  We can’t afford these prices.”

Are you concerned about the impact of Brexit on your travel arrangements? Have your say in the comments section below.

Written by Michael O’Really, Costa Del Sol Update, 05.02.2018