Visitors To Britain Forced To Wear Slippers. The first law passed since Brexit rules that all visitors must wear carpet slippers when visiting the UK.
Visitors To Britain Forced To Wear Slippers
The British Foreign Office has warned that any visitors arriving in Britain will be required to wear carpet slippers at all times Anyone found to be in breach of this will be returned to their country of origin immediately.
Protecting British Streets
Foreign Office spokesman Gordon Brittas says that the new law is there to protect British streets. “The moment Brexit was completed, all the streets in the UK were paved with gold. No one thought it would happen, they thought it was another election lie, but it’s the truth. As you know, gold is a soft metal, therefore walking on it in heels or hard shoes could do irreparable damage.”
Taking Back Control
There has been criticism because the new law applies only to visitors. Gordon says that the government are aware of this, but are not concerned. “We have taken back control, we can do anything now. We don’t want people from outside Britain damaging our gold paved streets, but if British people want to damage them, that’s fine. It’s what we voted for. The right to do damage our country as and when we see fit”.
Antonio Oro from Spain’s Cultural Office Communal Knowledge department thinks that the new law is ridiculous. “It’s madness. So many people wanted to travel to England and see what utopia looks like now they’ve got Brexit done. We feel we can’t go now. We will have to go the Brexitland theme park instead. I don’t even know what carpet slippers are, I’ve never even seen a carpet.”
Profiteering In Spain
Malaga Airport has now opened a dedicated carpet slippers shop for anyone travelling to the UK. Anne Fernandez from a Facebook group full of outraged Brits says this is profiteering and must be stopped. “It’s outrageous, my members are outraged. First of all, this law in the UK is outrageous, and selling slippers for €30 a pair in Malaga airport is also outrageous. How can they charge that? They’re not even the cute fluffy slippers with ears on like the ones I have at home. It’s a scam. On the other hand it’s good for us to have something to be outraged about, we were worried that we’d have to stop being outraged after Boris got Brexit done”.
Good News For Spain
DJ Barry Jones from the popular Ebola Bar in Fuengirola thinks that the new law in Britain will be good for business in Spain. “You know this is going to stop a lot of people visiting the UK, so they’ll come here instead where they can party party hands in the air wearing whatever they like on their feet. It all sounds daft. Fortunately, I never go to the UK, I only travel to Wales so this law won’t affect me”.
Not The Brightest
Stew Pidd is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Benalmadena. He says “Actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Dudley. This is fake news. Obviously. Anything which is beyond me must be fake news. Brexit is great. They need us more than we need them. Boris is best. Fake news.”
Will this put you off visiting the UK? Have your say in the comments below.
Written by Judy Garland, Costa Del Sol Update.