Rationing Introduced On The Costa Del Sol

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Rationing Introduced On The Costa Del Sol.  A shortage of toilet paper caused by panic buying has forced business owners to introduce rationing.

Rationing Introduced On The Costa Del Sol

Rationing Introduced On The Costa Del Sol

Costa Del Sol bars and restaurants have shocked residents and tourists by introducing a strict rationing policy in the face of shortages caused by the coronavirus outbreak.  Although there is no official rationing being enforced in Spain, businesses feel that these steps are vital to protect the well being of customers and staff.

Many of our readers have been surprised to hear that the rationing does not include food and drink as you might expect in bars and restaurants.  The rationing applies only to toilet paper.  Carlos Cisterna from Bars And Licencees Litigation Society says “Supermarket and wholesaler’s shelves are empty, we have to protect our existing supply of toilet paper.  We’ve noticed people coming into bars and restaurants simply to use the toilet.  It has to stop.  From now on, there will be no toilet paper kept in the the cubicles.  Paying customers will be allocated two sheets per visit.  There will be no exceptions”.  

Toilet Roll Chained

Pictured: toilet roll padlocked and chained to the wall at the Ebola Bar in Fuengirola.

Employment Opportunities

The new rationing is being hailed by some as a positive move, partly because it has increased employment opportunities along the coast.  However the cost of extra staff could prove crippling to some businesses.  Sam Spam from the Slap & Tickle pub in Estepona says “I’ve had to employ two extra staff members to sit in the bathrooms and hand out pieces of toilet paper.  It’s ridiculous.  That’s an extra six euros an hour (between them), I don’t know how to pay for it, I can’t water the drinks down anymore than I already am”.  

Rationing toilet paper may not be the answer to the current problem though.  Retired British army veteran Lance Corporal Jones says attitudes need to be changed.  “Don’t panic, don’t panic!  That’s what I’ve been telling everyone.  If only they’d listened to me we wouldn’t be in this mess.  Unfortunately, people seem more likely to listen to some idiot on Facebook than they are to listen to the people who actually know what’s going on”. 

Toilet Attendant

Retired expat Beryl is now earning €3 an hour distributing toilet paper and offering “other services” at a pub in Torremolinos.

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Messy Situation

Expats have been reacting with fury to the news, threatening to boycott bars and restaurants.  Anne Fernandez runs a group on Facebook where her members can express their outrage over issues including Brexit and people sunbathing in March.  She says “This is absolutely outrageous, many of my members are elderly and still have a very British diet.  As you can imagine, two sheets just won’t cut it for them.  Exceptions need to be made before the situation gets messy”.

Stew Pidd

Stew Pidd thinks this is fake news.

Fake News

Stew Pidd is originally from Birmingham and says this is fake news.  He told us “Actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Smethwick.  It must be fake news, all of it.  Coronavirus is just like having a cold.  I know this cos my mate knows it, and he should know because he had a cold last year.  Who do these doctors think they are?  Trying to tell us about medical things.  I’ve bought lots of toilet roll though, just in case.  Big up Boris“.

Will this rationing force you to change your bathroom habits? Have your say in the comments below.

Written by Captain Mainwaring, Costa Del Sol Update

Click here for more completely genuine Costa Del Sol news stories.

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