About Us

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About Us – who are we, where are we from, how can you contact us, and what are we doing here?

About Us

About Us

In 1972 a crack journalist team was sent to newspaper prison by a regulatory body court for a crime they didn’t commit.  These men (and women) promptly escaped 45 years later from a maximum security stockade through the Marbella underground tunnels.

Today, still wanted by Ofcom, they survive as writers of fortune.  If you have a story, if no one else will write it, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Costa Del Sol Update team.

Local News That No One Else Knows

Our team has grown and spread across the Costa Del Sol.   Legend has it that you’re never more than three feet away from a Costa Del Sol Update reporter.  These experienced news hounds are sniffing out stories before the other newspapers and internet sites even know that they exist.

We bring you the news you didn’t know you wanted, before you knew that you didn’t want it.

News Hound

One of our news hounds sniffing out a story

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Who Are We?

Our identities are a closely kept secret. Not even we know who we are.  This way, if one of our journalists is captured by a rival operation like the Euro Weakly News or the Olive Oil Press they won’t be able to reveal the names of the rest of the team.  Not even under torture, like being forced to listen to Despacito over and over and over.

Monkey Fingers Ears

Artists impression of a monkey being forced to listen to Despacito. No monkeys were actually forced to listen to Despacito during the making of this picture.

Our headquarters are located in a top secret underground cave complex, like the Nerja caves, but obviously not the Nerja caves, there are too many tourists there.

Compliments

If you would like to compliment our team on their oustanding work, you can email them at newsroom@costadelsolupdate.com but don’t expect a prompt reply.  Our security measure take several days to encrypt and decrypt messages.

Complaints

In the unlikely event of a complaint, the best way to address your complaint to us is via our top secret network of information tunnels.  Simply write your complaint on a piece of toilet paper or tissue, flush it down the toilet, and wait for us to respond.

Toilet

The complaints department.

Reader Satisfaction

Your complete satisfaction is our highest priority.  We want you to love what you read.  In the unlikely event that you’re not completely satisfied, we’d ask you to read something else instead.  Though you should be aware, you won’t find top quality journalism like ours everywhere.

 

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