Brexit Banter Banned In Bars


Brexit Banter Banned In Bars.  All Brexit related conversation will be outlawed in Spanish bars, with severe penalties for those caught discussing the subject.

Brexit Banter Banned In Bars

Brexit Banter Banned In Bars

In a surprise move today the Benalmadena County Council have outlawed all conversation related to Brexit in Costa Del Sol bars and restaurants.  Freedom of speech campaigners are calling the new law a breach of civil liberties and are calling for Parliament to overturn the ruling.  The new law comes into effect on the 1st of March.

Brexit Sandcastle

A generic Brexit themed picture which looks good but doesn’t really have any relevance to this story.

Brexit Related Violence

The passing of the law comes after a string of Brexit conversation related violent incidents .  Several pensioners were admitted to hospital last week after a conversation over a drink turned into a violent disagreement, during which several chicken wings were thrown and an incontinence pad was used as a weapon.

Mike Rotch from the British Andalucian Licencee Legislative Society is welcoming the change in the law.  “Brexit conversations have been getting out of hand.  No one actually knows anything, yet people drone on about it.   Sometimes people pass out from sheer boredom, and other times things get violent very quickly.   Either way, this ban should put an end to this.

Brick Wall

Brick walls will be installed in the designated Brexit conversation areas.

Designated Brexit Conversation Areas

All bars frequented by Brits on the Costa Del Sol will be required to install designated Brexit conversation areas, in an outside space away from the main hospitality area.  These will be fitted with padded walls, complimentary caffeine drinks, Union Flag designed motifs, and a brick wall which Brexiteers can bang their heads against.

Guardia Civil Armed

A lightly armed team of Guardia Civil officers will patrol the bars to enforce the Brexit conversation ban.


Penalties for discussing Brexit after the 1st of March will be severe.  The Guardia Civil have trained a crack unit to hunt down anyone who continues to discuss the subject.  Immediate arrests will be made, and offenders deported within a matter of hours.

Outraged Expats

Anne Fernandez runs a politically based non-political Facebook protest group where members can express their outrage over anything from Brexit to the recent sausage roll shortage.  She told Costa Del Sol Update “My members are outraged by this, and so am I.   It’s outrageous.  All we talk about is Brexit, it’s our favourite subject.  We love to hate it, even more than the weather, which has also been outrageous recently.  There will  just be silence in the bars after the ban comes into force.”

Bar Passed Out

Brits pictured in a Torremolinos bar after the conversation turned towards Brexit.

William Wallace is an expat originally from Birmingham, now working for Andalucian National Union Securities in Spain.  He said “actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Edgbaston.  I’m completely in favour of this ban.  Brexit is boring.  It’s all we hear about on the news, the last thing we want is to be bored by it in the bars as well.  Deportation is too good for people who talk about Brexit, I’d lock them up and throw away the key.  Which will probably be allowed after Brexit”.

Do you support the Brexit conversation ban? Have your say in the comments section below.

Written by Gloria Stits, Costa Del Sol Update, 25.02.2019




  1. After March 31, I have been told by the Anti Hysteria Society Of Uk. Lost Souls(AHSOULS) That All English visitors (Scots, Northern Irish and Welsh are exempt) must only speak in Spanish and may not buy more than 10 cigarettes and two beers in any one day. They will not be allowed to drive or take public transport, they can however, take taxis. Also there is talk of banning kippers and marmite, though there is some leeway on the latter depending if the purchaser can speak double Dutch or not. (Unilever owners of Marmite are half dutch) Watch this space for further news.

  2. The Costa del Sol will soon fill up from people (mostly from Birmingham) anxious to escape the Barrage of Bewildering Brexit Bollocks being broadcast by BBC (I am a member of the Alliteration Royal Society Of London, England). I suppose the ban will also include talking about the ban, being basically Brexit based by being ’bout Brexit. I am not from Birmingham myself but from nearby Scunthorpe.

Have your say!