Expats Fury Over €26 Million Brexit Monument


Expats Fury Over €26 Million Brexit Monument.  Expats on the Costa Del Sol are angry about a bridge which will be constructed to commemorate Brexit

Expats Fury Over Brexit Monument

Expats are angry after plans to build a bridge linking Spain and Gibraltar commemorating Brexit were revealed today. The bridge has already been nicknamed “The Brexit Bridge”, and is expected to cost around €26 million.

In an unprecedented display of co-operation, the bridge will be funded by both Gibraltar and Spain.  Stacy Fergusen is Gibraltar’s Minister For Bridge Building And Brexit Monuments, she says “This is a hugely expensive but crucially important project.  We’re commemorating Great Britain’s departure from the EU whilst reinforcing our ties with Spain”.

Angry Expats

News of the Brexit Bridge has caused anger amongst expats in Spain and residents of Gibraltar, who disagree with the funding methods.  Half of the €26 million will be paid for by a 1.7% hike in income tax for anyone working in Gibraltar.  The other half will be raised in Spain, through a new series of taxes which will be imposed on British businesses.

Brexit Bridge

The Brexit Bridge will link Gibraltar and Spain at the point illustrated here.

Taxing British Businesses

Dave Navarro from Birmingham now owns a T shirt manufacturing plant on the outskirts of Marbella.  He said a letter arrived this morning advising of the new tax.  “This is outrageous.  British businesses are going to be expected to pay out between €100 and €813 a month each depending on the annual turnover, for as long as it takes to pay for this blasted bridge.  Oh, and I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Erdington”.

Expat Cherilyn Sarkisian lives in Torremolinos.  She’s angry that her business is going to have to pay for this bridge.  “I don’t support Brexit, and I don’t see why I should have to pay for a bridge to remind everyone that Britain has made a big mistake.  I never even go to Gibraltar, I’m never going to use this bridge.  It’s disgusting, I’m considering moving to France.”

Brexit Bridge Construction

Irish construction firm Tipperary Tarmac SL are behind the project.  Managing Director Seamus O’Shyte says “I can’t believe this is happening.  We just said to the council we had a bit of tarmac left over after a job we’d done, and for a few quid we could redo their driveway.  The next thing I know we’re building this great big bridge.  My wife’s already put a deposit down on a new car.”

Quality construction

Construction firm boss Seamus O’Shyte pictured in an episode of Channel 5’s Homes From Hell series

Brexit Bridge Design

Kenneth Rodgers has been working on the designs for the bridge, alongside Spanish architect Julio Puente.  He told Costa Del Sol Update about the plans.  “The bridge is going to be one way, to reflect the whole Brexit thing, we thought that was important.  It’s going to be a mainly concrete and tarmac construction, so it will be strong and stable.  It will be paved with uncertainty, broken promises, shattered dreams, and plenty of vague notions”.

Celebrity Bridge Opening

There is no completion date set for the Brexit Bridge, but a celebrity launch is already on the cards.  David Hasselhoff is being tipped to open the new bridge when it is completed.  He told us “They asked me to sing my hit song Bridge Over Troubled Water on this bridge to open it, but that’s not my song.  I think they’re confusing me with Dolly Parton.  I’m not doing it.”

David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff never released Bridge Over Troubled Water

Are you happy about the Brexit Bridge?  Have your say in the comments box below.

Written by Emma Roid, Costa Del Sol Update, 31.10.2017






  1. Great humour and a laugh ! But it´s not far from the reality and the truth is that the tunnel under the runway is almost complete and expected to open in 2018.

  2. Wotcher!

    I have a few bags of cold lay tarmac left over, and a dozen 3×2 slabs. The trouble was in charge of measuring up. Caused a right ‘ow’s yer farver I can tell you. I kept looking out the window at the driveway, and then at all my leftover gear. Should ‘av left ‘er indoors. Always causes grief if I let her aht.

    Tell you what Squire. I’ll put the lot in the back of the Space Wagon and nip them down to Gib. I’m sure my old mucker Seamus will put them to good use. Tell ‘im to ‘ave a monkey ready. Just make sure my missus ain’t had nuffink to do with the ordering or the bridge will end up spanning across to Morocco. Silly old cow.

    PS. Does anybody who lives on the Costa Del Sol actually come from Birmin’am? Last time I went there it was full of Bermondseys and such. I went for a wander dahn the old Letsby, dressed up in my best Kim and packet an’ I felt like I was on a diffrent planit. Or at least a diffrent continent. You wiv me?

    • Wotcher!

      It’s me again. Just ‘avin’ a fink. When I said I want a monkey for my stuff, I don’t mean one of them monkeys from Gib. Wot am I gunna do wiv a real monkey? ‘Old on. I could stick ‘im in for election as the Mayor of Funkiroller. Leave it wiv me. I’ll ‘av a wander rahnd and ‘av a dickie wiv some old lags I know.

Have your say!