Spain Bans All Amateur Singers. Spain has banned all amateur singers from performing anywhere, even in their own homes.
Spain Bans All Amateur Singers
Spain introduced controversial new measures to slow the spread of the coronavirus earlier this week, including shutting all nightclubs and pubs which don’t have a food licence. Amateur singing has also been banned, affecting karaoke bars all over the country. This is seen as another step towards the second lockdown which will definitely probably begin on the 18th of September.
Today the national government have taken the radical step of extending the ban on amateur singers in bars and preventing them from singing anywhere. Even in their own homes. John Grimes from the Amateur Singers Society is angry about the move, saying “This is persecution. It’s bad enough that we can’t subject people to our singing in bars, now they’re telling us we can’t even sing at home. I’m very angry.”
“We Had No Choice”
Politicians are defending the move, saying it will benefit the whole country. Fernando Ruido is from the Ministry Of Laws Which Don’t Really Make A Lot Of Sense But People Will Have To Abide By Anyway. He says “We knew as soon as we banned karaoke, these people would want to start singing at home. Spanish buildings have notoriously thin walls, and we realised that it would be like some kind of medieval torture for neighbours who would have to listen to Mustang Sally performed out of key over and over again. We had no choice.”
Serious Karaoke Singers
Karaoke singers often take their hobby very seriously. Billy “Everybody’s Mate” Jackson is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Torremolinos. He says “actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Sutton Coldfield. With karaoke you can’t beat the feeling. You walk into a bar full of people who are having the best party ever, get up on the stage, take the mic, and launch into the full 24 minute version of Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah. Within moments, everyone’s mood is brought crashing down and their faces look desperate and miserable. There’s not many things can do that. I don’t know what I’ll do now I can’t sing anywhere in Spain”.
Effects On Local Business
The ban on karaoke in bars is not having much effect on business, according to one local bar owner we spoke to. Frazzle runs the Old Bunion Sports Bar in popular tourist town Fuengirola. He took a break from shouting at his staff for serving a full strength drink to tell us that he’s not noticed a difference. “Karaoke man, not a thing really man. Both my customers said they didn’t wanna do it anyway. Fuss over nuffink”.
There are fears that the ban on singing in Spain may just force the problem underground. Anne Fernandez runs a Facebook group where expats express their outrage over Brexit and pensioners wearing crocs. Anne says “We’re all outraged by this ban. I agree, no one really wants to hear anyone singing karaoke, but at least if they’re doing it at home you can just turn the TV up or something. Banning it is going to force these ego-centric X Factor wannabes underground, and then it could get very nasty. Imagine walking through the frozen food aisle in Mercadona, and some karaoke starved Brit pops out from behind the mixed veg and sings a line from Hey Jude at you. It’s more than we could take”.
More Media Scaremongering
Some people have suggested that we have just made this up and we are scaremongering. Stew Pidd says “this is probably fake news. Anything I don’t understand is fake news, especially jokes I don’t get or don’t like. This is obviously fake news. You’re just scaremongering. You won’t get away with this after Brexit. They need us more than we need them. Big up Boris. Brexit is best!”.
Do you think that Spain is right to ban singing? Have your say in the comments below.
Written by Gloria Stits, Costa Del Sol Update
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