British Public Will Get To Vote On Brexit. Shock announcement confirms Brexit will be put to a new public vote.
British Public Will Get To Vote On Brexit
The British public will decide the future of Brexit as the nation prepares to vote for a second time. The vote will be centred around a television broadcast, which will be filmed in Marbella later this month.
Parliamentary spokesperson Dick Taytor told Costa Del Sol Update “The real reason that parliament has been suspended is to give MPs time to rehearse for this huge TV showdown. It’s going to be the biggest TV event in political history, and will determine the future of the United Kingdom”.
Politics, Policy, and Reality TV
The TV special aims to combine one of the biggest reality TV formats, and politics, to create an explosive viewing experience where the public get to make a difference. BreX Factor will be produced by Simon Cowell‘s TV company, and filmed at his mansion in Marbella. The TV special won’t feature a live studio audience, as it’s being filmed in Simon Cowell’s private Marbella mansion which has a “no riff raff” policy.
Simon Cowell says “MPs will be divided into two groups, leave and remain. They will then perform songs in front of a panel of expert musicians including Geri Halliwell or Geri Horny or whatever she’s called now, Louis Walsh, and myself. We have already begun whittling the MPS down to the final ten, who will perform on the live TV final. Sadly we won’t be using the Golden Buzzer this time, it got stolen by someone who thought it was real gold”.
BreX Factor Format
Carlos Cantante from production company Costa Regional Andalucian Productions explains how the voting will work. “The public get to vote for their favourite singer from the remainers, and their favourite singer from the leavers. The winners from each category will then go head to head in a final sing off, with the great British public deciding the winner. If a leaver MP gets the vote, Brexit will go ahead as planned. If a remainer MP wins the vote, then Brexit will be cancelled and we can all get on with our lives”.
Political observers are saying this TV show is ludicrous. “You can’t decide the future of a nation on the singing talent of a politician” said well known political pundit Chris Eubank. Others are claiming it makes sense though, as Phil Drill from Birmingham says “actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Solihull. In the original referendum, no one knew what they were voting for. This time, at least we know we’re voting for the best singer”.
Some of the MPs expected to make it through to the final ten include Sheffield MP Louise Haigh, who’s rendition of “I Love Rock And Roll” has impressed judges. Nigel Farage is expected to reach the final performing a rousing version of “What Kind Of A Fool Am I”, and viewers are getting excited about Boris Johnson performing “Love Machine” on the BreX Factor.
Special Superstar Guests
As the telephone and text votes are counted, viewers will be treated to special guest performances by two former Prime Ministers. David Cameron will take to the stage performing “What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted” in a rare public appearance since leaving Downing Street. Also performing will be Theresa May, who is going to sing “Dancing Queen”.
Expats Not Eligible
The voting system is already drawing criticism from expats living in Spain. Anne Fernandez runs a Facebook group where members express their outrage over important matters including the inflated price of Yorkshire Tea Bags in Spain. She says “We are outraged that the voting is only open to people inside the UK. Many of us still care about the UK, and feel we have the right to vote on it’s future, even though we abandoned it because the weather is rubbish”.
The BreX Factor is going to be good for the local economy in Spain. Enrique Enfermedad is the manager at the Dengue Hotel where the politicians will be staying. “It’s amazing, so good for us, a two and a half star hotel. These politicians have bottomless expense accounts, they’ll be pumping a fortune into the local economy”.
Public opinion about the show being filmed in Spain seems to be divided. Butch Smith is a member of the Brexit Party in the UK. He says “ITS RONG THAT FORINERS ARE GETTING THIS DONE THEIR. IT SHOULD BE IN ENGLAND ITS ARE MONEY: BREXIT MEANS BREXIT”.
Welsh DJ Barry Jones from the Ebola Bar in Fuengirola is excited about the BreX Factor. “It’s great boyo, we’re doing karaoke nights in the bar so hopefully the politicians will come and have a sing. Fantastic to get this Brexit thing sorted too, not that it affects me, I’m Welsh. Hands in the air. Party party.”
The BreX Factor will be shown on ITV1 at 8pm on the 30th October.
Is this the fairest way to decide if Brexit happens? Leave your comment below!
Written by Sheila Blige, Costa Del Sol Update.