Fury As Government Eases Restrictions For Children.  The Spanish government has confirmed a number of dangerous activities are now permitted for under 14s.

Fury As Government Eases Restrictions For Children

Yesterday there was disbelief and confusion amongst parents after the government announced it planned to allow under 14s into supermarkets and pharmacies.  Today this decision has been clarified and expanded upon, leading to even more fury from parents.

“We realise allowing children into a supermarket is dangerous, considering the chances of contracting coronavirus” said spokesman Enrique Enfermo.  “Following a backlash from parents, it’s clear we didn’t go far enough.  Today I’m delighted to announce a raft of dangerous situations that parents will be able to involve their children in from next Monday”.

Support From Psychologists

Psychologists are backing the new measures, saying young people need stimulation. Carlos Curandero from the Psychological Restructuring Andalucian Team says “Under 14s need thrills, they need to feel close to danger.  Because all the theme parks like Brexitland are now closed down, we  have a responsibility to find other ways to endanger their lives”.

New Lockdown Rules For Children

Spain’s Minister for Announcing A Half Baked Idea Then Backtracking The Next Day has clarified what under 14s will be permitted to do in Spain from Monday the 27th April:

• Visit a virus riddled supermarket with a parent
• Visit a pharmacy with a parent
• Play knock and run on the meanest community presidents
• Play chicken with lorries on the AP7 for one hour a day
• Enjoy a game of hide and seek in the tiger enclosure at Selwo
• Swim in the ocean whilst red flags are flying with no lifeguards
• Spend an afternoon with Prince Andrew

Angry Parents In Spain

Many parents are questioning the thinking behind today’s announcement.  Sharon Jones is a coronavirus expert from Facebook, she says “This isn’t enough, they should just let everyone out now.  The virus is basically a cold that kills people, there’s nothing for us to worry about.  This was on YouTube, it’s true.  On the other hand, going to the supermarket is the only break I get from little Chardonnay and Rufus, maybe they should stay at home”. 

There is opposition to this decree from many expats in Spain.  Anne Fernandez runs a Facebook group where Brits can express their outrage over things like Brexit and quality issues with pyramid shaped tea bags.  Anne says “This is outrageous it really is.  We shouldn’t be encouraging children to play in tiger enclosures, when there are so many adults who need this time outdoors.  Parents should give up this privilege to people like Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson who have really earned it”.

Conspiracy Theories

Conspiracy theorists are already finding far reaching and utterly unbelievable explanations for this decree.  Moe Lester is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Cancelada.  He says “Actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Edgbaston.  It’s very clear what’s going on here.  Bill Gates has paid the government to let the kids out, so he can blast them with 5gs and brainwash them to buy computers with windows on.  Open your mind, see what’s really going on like I have”. 

Stew Pidd is finding this news hard to process, so has decided it’s fake news.  He says “It’s obviously fake news, because I don’t get it it.  That’s we we do when we are too thick to understand something, we say it’s fake news.  Donald Trump has shown us this is the best thing.  He’s a great president.  I love Boris.  Big up Brexit.”

Should parents allow their children outside? Have your say in the comments below.

Written by Carol Baskin, Costa Del Sol Update

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