Visitors To Britain Forced To Wear Slippers

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Visitors To Britain Forced To Wear Slippers.  The first law passed since Brexit rules that all visitors must wear carpet slippers when visiting the UK.

Visitors To Britain Forced To Wear Slippers

Visitors To Britain Forced To Wear Slippers

The British Foreign Office has warned that any visitors arriving in Britain will be required to wear carpet slippers at all times  Anyone found to be in breach of this will be returned to their country of origin immediately.

Protecting British Streets

Foreign Office spokesman Gordon Brittas says that the new law is there to protect British streets.  “The moment Brexit was completed, all  the streets in the UK were paved with gold.  No one thought it would happen, they thought it was another election lie, but it’s the truth.  As you know, gold is a soft metal, therefore walking on it in heels or hard shoes could do irreparable damage.”

Gold Paved Street

This street in Bognor Regis has been paved with gold following Brexit.

Taking Back Control

There has been criticism because the new law applies only to visitors.  Gordon says that the government are aware of this, but are not concerned. “We have taken back control, we can do anything now.  We don’t want people from outside Britain damaging our gold paved streets, but if British people want to damage them, that’s fine.  It’s what we voted for.  The right to do damage our country as and when we see fit”.

Antonio Oro from Spain’s Cultural Office Communal Knowledge department thinks that the new law is ridiculous.  “It’s madness.  So many people wanted to travel to England and see what utopia looks like now they’ve got Brexit done.  We feel we can’t go now.  We will have to go the Brexitland theme park instead.  I don’t even know what carpet slippers are, I’ve never even seen a carpet.”

Carpet

For the benefit of our Spanish readers, this is a tasteful carpet installation.

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Profiteering In Spain

Malaga Airport has now opened a dedicated carpet slippers shop for anyone travelling to the UK.  Anne Fernandez from a Facebook group full of outraged Brits says this is profiteering and must be stopped.  “It’s outrageous, my members are outraged.  First of all, this law in the UK is outrageous, and selling slippers for €30 a pair in Malaga airport is also outrageous.  How can they charge that?  They’re not even the cute fluffy slippers with ears on like the ones I have at home.  It’s a scam.  On the other hand it’s good for us to have something to be outraged about, we were worried that we’d have to stop being outraged after Boris got Brexit done”.

Gold Paved Streets 2

Council workers in Bolton take a break from drinking tea to install a gold surface to this street.

Good News For Spain

DJ Barry Jones from the popular Ebola Bar in Fuengirola thinks that the new law in Britain will be good for business in Spain.  “You know this is going to stop a lot of people visiting the UK, so they’ll come here instead where they can party party hands in the air wearing whatever they like on their feet.  It all sounds  daft.  Fortunately, I never go to the UK, I only travel to Wales so this law won’t affect me”.

Stew Pidd

Stew Pidd thinks this is fake news.

Not The Brightest

Stew Pidd is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Benalmadena.  He says “Actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Dudley.  This is fake news.  Obviously.  Anything which is beyond me must be fake news.  Brexit is great. They need us more than we need them.  Boris is best. Fake news.”

Will this put you off visiting the UK? Have your say in the comments below.

Written by Judy Garland, Costa Del Sol Update.

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3 comments

  1. Well I left the U.K. 48 years ago; and I wouldn’t go back there even if you paid me too. Hopefully they will get rid of Pinocchio as soon as possible then it might once again come under my consideration. The with Wellies on anyway to ensure that I didn’t step into any Bulls excrement….

  2. This will definitely put me off visiting the UK. I’ve heard the streets are also paved with vomit, urine and dog poo, and although the carpet slipper is a quaint British tradition, they would surely become saturated immediately? Would the Home Office allow me to use plastic crime scene shoe covers over my carpet slippers? That way, I can also navigate the oozing carcass of the UK economy on my visit next year, without ruining my free, fluffy souvenir.
    Funny that the UK is handing out something free and fluffy. Is this a re-branding initiative?
    Kind regards from Cornwall

  3. I can support the requirement to wear carpet slippers, but please, only in the winter months. For the summer period, it should be mandatory to revert to the historical footwear of open sandals with socks and a knotted handkerchief as a suitable sun hat.

Have your say!