Anger As Brexit Hits Spanish Traders

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Anger As Brexit Hits Spanish Traders.  Popular local traders on the Costa Del Sol are being forced to completely rebrand their businesses to cope with the Brexit backlash.

Anger As Brexit Hits Spanish Traders

Anger As Brexit Hits Spanish Traders

The impact of the Brexit uncertainty is being felt by popular traders in Spain.  A dramatic fall in the number of British tourists is forcing some local businessmen to rebrand and prepare for a very different tourist market in 2020.

Local business organisation Trading In Torremolinos has confirmed that from the 1st of November, “looky looky” men will no longer be targeting British tourists, and instead are shifting their focus to the lucrative French tourist trade.  Salvador Mira said “We are angry about this, our beach side sales representatives have had to learn a new language, chance their names, and even adapt their product lines”.

Looky Looky Men

Rodney Sanchez demonstrating a genuine Armooni watch to a tourist in Fuengirola

New Trading Name

As part of the business rebrand local trader Winston Garcia (who will become known as Pierre Garcia) explains “We are going to be known as Le Regardez Regardez Hommes.  It’s important for us to move with the times, and grow our business according to the tourists who frequent our trading hot spots.  France is the future.  Forget the Brits. I’ve even started eating garlic.”

New Catchphrases

During the winter break the tradesmen will be learning new phrases spoken by French people, to replace “lovely jubbly” and “cheap as chips”.  By replacing the popular British phrases with French language phrases, they hope to appeal to the new tourist market.  The new phrases will translate to “What is it snowy?” from the famous TinTin films, and “Retreat surrender!” from some French war films.

Looky Looky Men

Local traders Kevin and Sharon are being forced to change their names to Pierre and Josephine.

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Products

The Regardez Regardez Hommes will continue to stock the same lines of high quality but easily damaged goods as they have done over previous tourist seasons, alongside new “singing garlic cloves” and “cheesewheel skittles games”.  Mr. Garcia told us “We were concerned that the French may not wish to buy as much cheap tat as the British tourists.  But then we saw some of the cars they buy and this reassured us that they are almost as tasteless as the Brits”.

Tourists React To News

Holiday maker Kevin Blunt from Birmingham said “I’m not from Birmingham actually, I’m from Edgbaston.  It won’t be the same coming here on holiday, if the looky looky men are speaking French.  I certainly won’t buy anything from them.  I’m not supporting the French economy.  I suppose it doesn’t really matter anyway, I’m not forking out for a VISA to visit Spain.

Looky LookyTraders are now learning French catchphrases to assist with sales of Armooni handbags,

Expat Community Outraged

Expats have been speaking out in support of the looky looky men today.  Anne Fernandez runs a Facebook group where outraged Brits can express their outrage at important matters like Brexit and how to pronounce the word scone.  Anne says “I’m outraged of course, as are my members.  The looky looky men are an integral part of the Spanish holiday experience.  It’s not too late to stop Brexit and save the looky looky men.  We must act now.  Boris Johnson should be ashamed of himself, especially as he bought his wig from a looky looky man a few years ago”.

Boris Johnson Hair

Boris Johnson purchased a high quality hair piece from a looky looky man whilst on holiday in Spain.

Will you buy products from local traders if they are speaking French? Have your say in the comments below!

Written by Rick O’Shea, Costa Del Sol Update.

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