British Brexit Nativity Banned. Parents are outraged after finding out about an offensive Brexit themed school nativity play.
British Brexit Nativity Banned
British parents on the Costa Del Sol are celebrating after the council banned a local school production of the nativity. Headmaster Phil Gilbert from the International School Solely For British Students in Estepona says “This year we asked the students to write their own version of the nativity. We told them to make it modern and relevant. They have done what we asked, this ban is politically correct nonsense”.
Miguel Noche-Silenciosa is the head of the Costa Del Sol County Council’s Department For Censoring Inappropriate School plays. He said “As soon as we were alerted to this, we knew we had to act. We were sent a copy of the script and whilst we agree it is a fair representation of what a modern nativity might look like, we had to ban it.”
However parents are welcoming the ban, describing the nativity play as offensive and crude. Kevin Sutherland from Parents Regional Andalucia Team said “As soon as my daughter brought the script home I knew there was a problem. She’d been cast not as the innkeeper, but as the ‘madame’. It’s disgusting. You can imagine the kind of establishment Mary and Joseph were seeking refuge in. I say imagine, because I’ve obviously never been anywhere like that, despite what my ex-wife says. I couldn’t have been there, because I was in Pizza Express at the time”.
Costa Del Sol Update has obtained a copy of the script, which features several scenes where a large group of people wishing to worship the new born baby are led round and round in circles by a star which doesn’t actually seem to take them anywhere. According to the script “an angel appears, wearing a backpack with blonde scruffy hair and wearing a cheap suit. He says to the crowd `Behold, I am Boris the Backpack Wearing Brexit Angel. Follow me and I will take you to the messiah. Please make sure you have a British passport and white skin though or you won’t be allowed in’ in a very posh accent”.
Modern Nativity Play
The modern nativity has replaced the three wise men with apparent drug dealers called Denzil, Nige, and Emilio. The plot includes a scene where they present the parents of a new born baby with a brick of cocaine, a bag of hash, and some MDMA pills. The traditional shepherds have been replaced by money launderers and loan sharks, the lambs are now rottweilers and pit bull dogs.
Expats are welcoming the news of the ban. Anne Fernandez runs a Facebook page where expats can express their outrage over important things like saying sorry when someone else bumps into you and Brexit. Unfortunately Anne wasn’t available for comment, but her lieutenant Judy Wilmer said “Anne would love to speak to you but she has been overcome with outrage. We think this has tipped her over the edge, and she won’t recover until after the election. Needless to say though, we’re all outraged by this. It’s just outrageous. Some of our members have been so outraged they’ve needed medical treatment for a sense of humour bypass. It’s serious.”
Parent Polly McKenzie is originally from Birmingham and now lives with her son Maximus in Marbella. She feels that the ban is just censorship. “Actually I’m not from Birmingham” she told Costa Del Sol Update, “I’m from Smethwick. This is awful. Our children were given a task, which they have done, and now they are being censored and oppressed. This is all because of Brexit. As soon as it gets done, this won’t happen anymore. We don’t need unelected Spanish officials telling us British parents what our children can do in a school play in Spain. It’s just wrong.”
Do you think that this is censorship gone too far? Have your say in the comments below!
Written by Angel Gabriel, Costa Del Sol Update.