Meghan Markle Performing In Panto.  The Duchess Of Sussex has signed a big money deal to appear on stage in Spain.

Meghan Markle Performing In Panto

The Duchess Of Sussex has taken her first public step towards financial independence from the Royal family, confirming that she is to star in a pantomime production in Spain.  Meghan’s first professional acting role since she quit Suits to star in the Royal Family will be that of Cinderella at a popular theatre in the south of Spain.

The Salon Varieties Theatre in Fuengirola are set to announce show dates in the next few days.  Gabriel Guion from Costa Regional Andalucia Productions who are putting on the show says “This is quite a big deal for us, for Fuengirola, and for theatre in general.  We actually wanted Frank Bruno for the show, but he was unavailable.  However, we’re delighted to have Meghan in the show and can’t wait to perform to a packed theatre”.

New Script Written For Megan

Cast members and the show’s director have expressed concerns about involving the Duchess in the panto though.  “We’ve had to completely rewrite the script” said director Al Hitchcock.  “She refused to play Cinderella as a peasant, so the show actually starts as her already being a princess.  Meghan also refused to be seen on stage as a commoner after midnight (when Cinderella should transform to her old appearance) so we’ve had to write in a scene where she gets on a plane to Canada before anyone notices she isn’t a real princess”.  

In the new script, Cinderella flees to Canada before midnight.

Meghan’s Musical Talent

Musical director Gilbert Sullivan said Meghan’s talents have really tested the patience of the cast.  “We have a scene where she is supposed to be singing doh ray me fah so lah tea doh.  However, Meghan just sings me me me me me me me me.  It’s getting very frustrating”.

The theatre had hoped to persuade popular British Prime Minister Boris Johnson to join the production as Cinderella’s father.  Because the show is likely to be staged after Brexit though it’s unlikely he will get a visa to work in Spain, so the part will be played by a speaking fridge.

The panto will also feature the voice of Boris Johnson inside a fridge,

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Underwhelming Reaction

Public reaction to the news has been underwhelming, as Bill Williams from Birmingham explains.  “Actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Aston.  Why do they need to bring a royal, or ex-royal, or whatever she is here?  It’s a cheap stunt.  There is so much acting talent on the Costa Del Sol that we should be filling these roles ourselves.  I was actually a TV star myself, I appeared in the background of an episode of The Bill.  I could play Cinderella for a fraction of the cost”.

A spokesperson for the Duchess Of Sussex told us “This is the perfect thing for Meghan to be involved with.  She’ll be earning money, but more importantly she can still interact with the British public because there are so many of them in Spain, without actually having to be in Britain which she finds an awful pain.  I think I’m rhyming now, getting into the panto spirit.  Oh yes I am.  What what“.

Meghan Markle is said to be very happy about going back to work.

A group of expats have taken to Facebook to express their outrage that Meghan Markle is going to work in Spain.  Anne Fernandez is the official spokesperson for outraged expats online, she says “We’re all outraged frankly.  I’m glad I didn’t used every bit of my outrage on Brexit, and saved some for this news story.  She’ll give us expats a bad name, I even heard a rumour she’s going to pay tax on her earnings in Spain.  No true Brit would ever do that, you can tell she’s not one of us”.  

Tom Fool from Marbella said “Fake news.  Fake news. Fake news.  It has to be, because I don’t get it, so it’s fake news.”

Will you be booking tickets to see Meghan Markle in Panto? Have your say in the comments below.

Written by Dame Edna, Costa Del Sol Update.