Prince Andrew Set For Pop Stardom. The troubled Prince has been working on a single which he hopes will restore his image and boost his finances.
Prince Andrew Set For Pop Stardom
Today we can exclusively reveal that Prince Andrew has been at work in a recording studio, and is planning to relaunch himself as a pop star. Since the Queen removed his Royal allowance of 250,000 pounds a year, the Prince has been looking for a new source of income. A source told us that the Prince believes pop music could be a lucrative new sideline for him.
Recording In Spain
The Prince has been working on his music at a private studio in Sotogrande in southern Spain where he has regularly holidayed with ex-wife Sarah Ferguson. Antonio Grabacion is a record producer at Andalucia Recording Studio Exclusivo who has been working with the Prince. He says “Everyone has been surprised by the Prince’s musical talents. He’s actually worse than we thought he would be. This record is going to be a huge hit!”.
A Royal Rebrand
The Prince has had some initial problems establishing himself as a pop brand. Our anonymous source John Bryan said “Andrew wanted to record under the name Prince because he is one, but was disappointed to find out that someone has already done that. He’s now planning to release music using the name Prince Andrew, because that’s what his friends call him”.
The first single is set to be released through independent record label Prince’s Independent Music Productions on the 20th December, in time to challenge for the coveted Christmas number one spot. The record is a cover of the popular song by Shaggy “It Wasn’t Me” and will feature new British rapper Ghi$laine.
Costa Del Sol Update can exclusively reveal that Prince Andrew’s version of the song will feature slightly modified lyrics, including “But they caught me in a photo, it wasn’t me, they saw me at the nightclub, it wasn’t me, I did an interview with the BBC, it wasn’t me, I was at pizza express, that actually was me”. The B Side is expected to be a reworking of the C&C Music Factory classic “Sweat”
Record Could Flop
Public reaction to our leaked story hasn’t been positive though. DJ Barry Jones from the Ebola Bar in Fuengirola said “I think it’s bonkers, totally ridiculous, I can’t see anyone dancing to it, Guaranteed floor killer. I’m not playing that. Party party hands in the air boyo”. Pat Mibutt is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Marbella. He said “Actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Sutton Coldfield. Sounds like a rubbish idea to me, but I’d rather listen to that than more people banging on about Brexit, which won’t affect me anyway because I’m from Sutton Coldfield, not Birmingham”.
Expats in Spain are angry that Prince Andrew is using the country to escape his critics and record music. Anne Fernandez runs a Facebook group where members express their outrage over plans to tax rich tea biscuits and Brexit. Anne says “My members are outraged, he shouldn’t be here. This is a lovely part of Spain, we don’t want it becoming a bolt hole for criminals and wanted men. I don’t know why he’s here, we don’t even have a pizza express”.
Buy The Single
The record will be available to buy online from the 20th December. To purchase your copy you will have to log onto a website using TOR technology, and wire the €1.99 cost to an offshore account in the Caymen islands.
Do you think it’s appropriate for a member of the Royal Family to be releasing pop music? Leave your comment below!
Written by Tim Buktu, Costa Del Sol Update.