Epidemic Reaches Costa Del Sol. Experts warn against panic as news of a global outbreak reaching the Costa Del Sol is confirmed.
Epidemic Reaches Costa Del Sol
Experts have confirmed today that a global epidemic has reached the Costa Del Sol. Several people have been identified as suffering from the outbreak of “complete and utter stupidity” following the broadcast of a Channel 4 news special recently.
Dr. Killmore from the Andalucian Regional Safety Executive says “we’ve been worried that the global outbreak of complete and utter stupidity would reach the Costa Del Sol, now it is here. There can be no other explanation. British people have appeared on the television describing how they live in Spain, but voted for Brexit. ”
Experts have been tracking the spread of “complete and utter stupidity” since the first cases were reported in America as people admitted voting for Donald Trump. The epidemic then spread to the UK as previously sane people elected Boris Johnson as Prime Minister.
If you’re concerned about a friend or relative who could be suffering from this condition, signs to watch out for include social media posts in written entirely in capital letters, delusions that “nothing will change” after Brexit, and yearnings for a blue passport. Currently there is no treatment available, medics are advising to help the afflicted feel as comfortable as possible.
Halting The Spread Of Stupidity
Spanish authorities are already trying to combat the spread of “complete and utter stupidity” by setting up checkpoints at major road junctions and airport arrival lounges. British people are being asked if they voted to the leave the EU. Anyone who replies yes will be instantly transported to a humane holding centre before being placed on a Ryanair flight and returned to Britain. “This simple question is the most reliable way to diagnose the condition” confirmed Spanish doctor Enrique Enfermedad.
Expats in Spain are reacting with outrage to this news. Anne Fernandez runs a popular Facebook group where people can be outraged about important matters like under cooked eggs in Spanish cafes and Brexit. Anne says “It’s barbaric, making these poor sick people travel with Ryanair, we are all outraged. We knew the stupid were among us, but going on the TV and supporting Brexit whilst living in Spain is shockingly outrageous. I still can’t quite believe anyone could be that stupid. It’s devastating. I’ve had three cups of coffee in the last hour I’m so stressed by this”.
Others are less concerned with the news. Stew Pidd is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Benalmadena. He says “Actually, i’m not from Birmingham I’m from Dudley. This is fake news. Obviously. Anything which is beyond me must be fake news. Brexit is great. Nothing will change. They need us more than we need them. Boris is best. Fake news.”
Do you know anyone affected by the epidemic? Have your say in the comments below.
Written by Beverley Crusher, Costa Del Sol Update.
To be fair the full comment made his sound pretty stupid
Ironic that the utterly stupid would be transported back to the UK on Ryan Airlines. I recall the CEO of Ryan announcing prior to the referendum that if the vote was defeated Ryan Airlines would have a special discount promotion. I recall reading that some voters on the fence stating that if the largest Corporate Con Man was for BREMAIN, than they were voting BREXIT. Alleged to have swayed many a voter over to the ranks of BREXIT.
Help! I think I’m suffering from complete and utter stupidity, but perhaps a different strain. I didn’t vote for Brexit whilst living in Spain; I didn’t vote for Boris whilst valuing the truth – but I am ashamed, and feverishly admit, that I did vote for a party supporting a new referendum, in the belief that all such parties would place co-operation to stop Brexit above party politics. I have suffered ever since from chronic nausea whenever I hear the words, ‘Get Brexit Done,’; a pounding headache, each time the pound slides; a very high temperature on the occasions I scream for several hours, and a deep ache within my core when I think of my EU family who have now left the UK for less fascist shores. Well, alright – whenever I think of my now ruined Mediterranean retirement plans. And the rels. And there’s an oozing pustule on my face. Sorry, correction: that’s Fuhrage on the telly again, and not my reflection. Have I got the plague? Or is this just Brexit rage? Should you confirm my worst fears, could you please also confirm where the main Brexit Party is on the 31st? Merci.
I am so sorry to hear this news. The virus is spreading across the globe and it threatens everyone. I am sure that they will be able to find the right treatment.