Soft Drinks Banned In Bars. Fury as bars in southern Spain are banned from selling any non-alcoholic drinks.
Soft Drinks Banned In Bars
In a shock move today the Andalucia County Council has passed a new law making it illegal to sell any non-alcoholic drinks in bars and clubs. The news comes after the popular tourist destination Benidorm went the other way and introduced measures to clamp down on excessive drinking.
The council has been defending the controversial new law Pedro Ano De Rata from the Department For Vague And Possibly Illegal Law Creation says clamping down on drinking makes no sense at all. “Benidorm have shot themselves in the foot” he told us. “Binge drinkers and badly behaved boozers are the backbone of our economy. As every good Brexiteer knows, we Spanish need British tourists more than British tourists need the Spanish. We should do everything we can to encourage excessive drinking.”
Ban Will Boost Economy
The blanket ban on soft drinks will be good for every part of the local economy, according to Carlos Borracho from the Alcohol Response Safety Executive. “The more drunk people the better. It helps reduce unemployment, as we have to hire more police officers to deal with them and we need more street cleaners to clear up their mess. It boosts the health service as we get to make excessive claims against people’s heath insurance. The benefits far outweigh the disadvantages”.
Bar Owners Speak Out
We approached some local bar owners to find out how the new law could affect business. Sam Spam from the popular Slap & Tickle pub in Estepona thinks it’s a good move. He says “Honestly, this should have been done years ago. All that valuable shelf space was being wasted by bottles of Fanta that only get drunk by lightweights who shouldn’t even come here if they can’t take a drink. No more vodka and coke in my, we’ll be serving vodka with whisky mixers. We’re serious about liver destruction here.”
We were astonished that the owner of the Old Bunion Sports Bar in Fuengirola was able to give us a comment and take a break from shouting at his hard working staff for being quite good at their jobs. Frazzle said “Does this law include water? We can get rid of everything else, but we need water to put in the vodka and beer”.
Expats Blast Ban On Soft Drinks
News of the ban has been blasted by a group of expats though. Tom Ferret contributes to a Facebook group where people can express their outrage over Brexit and the downsizing of Quality Street tubs. Tom says “Community champion and Voice Of The People Anne Fernandez is unavailable to speak to you today, because she’s in her local pub binge drinking 7Up before it becomes illegal. We’re all outraged by this news though, forcing people to drink only alcohol will lead to even more bad behaviour from Brits who can’t hold their drink. Brexit has demonstrated that British people can’t look after themselves, this isn’t going to help”.
Enforcing The Ban
The soft drink ban will be enforced by a crack squad of lightly armed Guardia Civil officers who will be patrolling bars looking for any landlords who are serving soft drinks. Those caught breaching the new laws face fines of up to €50,000 and possible deportation.
Stew Pidd is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Benalmadena. He says “This is fake news, obviously. Anything remotely challenging is beyond me, so I have to yell fake news as loud as possible so people think I’m really clever. Oh, I’m not from Birmingham either, I’m from Dudley”.
Will you be happy to see soft drinks disappear from local bars? Have your say in the comments below.
Written by Al Cohol, Costa Del Sol Update.
Stew Pidd sounds like a made up name to me. But I have to say as someone who comes from near Dudley (Upper Gornal actually) its just much easier to say Birmingham because no one has heard of Dudley. This also applies to such places as Netherton, Tipton, Cradley Heath, Sedgley. Wolverhampton to a lesser extent due to the Chubb lock factory and Wolves, but I have mentioned Wolverhampton to people and they stare at me with the expression of a confused goat so I just stick to Birmingham.
As for the article, totally agree!