Anger Over Vaccine Selection Process. Expats fear coronavirus vaccine may be withheld due to “harsh and unfair” selection process.
Anger Over Vaccine Selection Process
Expats in Spain are criticising the criteria laid out by the Spanish government which determines who is entitled to receive a coronavirus vaccine. The process applicable to British expats in Spain is being labelled “La Gente Caliente Sobrevive” by Spanish officials.
Whilst all Spanish nationals will be entitled to receive the vaccine, many Brits could miss out. Dr. Matar-Mas from the Andalucia Regional Safety Executive explains the selection process. “Sometimes evolution and natural selection need a helping hand. There are too many superking smoking beer bellied Brits here. We can help to restore the balance by ensuring that only the best looking Brits have the vaccine.”
“There is a team of experts who are selecting which Brits will which receive the vaccine, based on a score out of 10 determined by physical features,” the doctor says. ” Anyone who’s an 8 or higher will receive the vaccine. For example, if Prince Andrew lived here we’d rate him 2, he wouldn’t get it. If Cheryl Cole lived here we’d rate her a solid 10 – she would definitely get it”.
Harsh And Unfair
Many British residents in Spain are furious that the life saving jab could be withheld. Moe Lester is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Marbella. He told Costa Del Sol Update “Actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Erdington. This whole thing is harsh and unfair. I might not be much to look at, but I have three O Levels and could contribute more to society than some one who is smoking hot but might only have two O levels”.
Not everyone objects to this selection process though. Warren Shatalot works in Spain as a full time keyboard warrior, he recently posted “I’m glad my face doesn’t fit, they said I’m a 2 out of 10 and I couldn’t be happier. No untested 5g Bill Gates vaccine for me. Everyone knows it doesn’t work – just look at the figures. Only 2% of people who get the vaccine survive, but 104% of people without it survive. The government doesn’t want you to know this, but the figures are out there – do your research”.
Expats Are Outraged
Anne Fernandez runs a Facebook support group where Brits can express their outrage over things like Brexit and British branded supermarkets in Spain trying to pass off products from an Irish supermarket as suitable alternatives during a Brexit induced tea bag shortage. Anne says “this really is outrageous, essentially they’re saying that only good looking Brits should be here. My chief lieutenant Judy was so outraged that she burst a blood vessel in her chin, this has downgraded her to a number 4 meaning she’s going to miss out on the jab. I’ve not slept for two days, because of the relentless pestering from my local health centre telling me to come for a vaccine. 3 times an hour. It’s flattering, but too much”.
What Is Your Number?
The Spanish health department have decided not to release the numbers which have been assigned to Brits in Spain. Carlos Bonito from the Department For Rating Foreigners Based On Physical Appearance says “People keep asking if they’re getting the vaccine. It’s simple – if you qualify we will contact you. If you don’t hear from us, you’re ugly”.
Stew Pidd is convinced that anything he doesn’t understand, especially satire, is fake news. He says “It’s all rubbish, you’re being lied to. It’s fake news! Brexit means we can’t catch this virus in Spain – it’s what we voted for. Do your research!”
Have you been able to understand the new rules? Have your say in the comments section below.
Written by Gloria Stits, Costa Del Sol Update.