Outrage As Brits Banned From Coronavirus Tests In Spain


Outrage As Brits Banned From Coronavirus Tests In Spain.  Expats have been queuing up for the new covid-19 tests, but some have now been banned from test centres.

Outrage As Brits Banned From Coronavirus Tests In Spain

Outrage As Brits Banned From Coronavirus Tests In Spain

Previous reluctance to be tested for coronavirus has almost completely disappeared in the expat community following the introduction of a new test.  The new covid-19 test has proved so popular that some Brits have actually been banned from test centres after demanding repeat tests.

This week Spain introduced a new test method for covid-19, which is replacing the blood test and nasal swab.  Patients visiting test centres are now being given the new rectal swab test which is said to be more effective and enjoyable.

Brits Queuing Up For New Covid Test

The introduction of the new anal swab test has created an unexpected rush which the Spanish healthcare system was unprepared for.  Wilma Fingadoo is a British nurse working in Malaga, she says “Since this was introduced, we’ve seen an endless stream of British men queuing up for the test.  Men who previously wouldn’t even admit that this virus is real.  You wouldn’t believe the things they say to us, one even asked if I’d like to meet his parents.  We’ve had to ban so many of them”.

Anal Swab Instructions

The new anal swab test has been confusing for some nurses as the instructions are in Chinese.

Repeat Testing Causing Backlog

Even ardent conspiracy theorists and virus deniers are relenting and getting tested.  Brian Beavers is originally from Birmingham and now lives in Fuengirola.  He told us “actually I’m not from Birmingham, I’m from Edgbaston. Everyone knows this is a scamdemic, so that Bill Gates can control us with microchips and governments can bankrupt themselves.  Why can’t people see that every government dreams of bankrupting itself? However, that doesn’t mean we can’t all do our bit just in case”.

Brian has been banned from his local test centre in Los Boliches, and feels discriminated against.  “Even though the virus is fake, I went for my anal swab test which came back negative.  I then realised as I left the test centre that I could have caught the imaginary virus walking to my car. So I went back for another test to be safe.  This happened several more times, and then I was told not to come back. They banned me!  A Brit, in Spain! How dare they? They need us more than we need them”. 

Men Queueing

Men are pictures queuing at the covid-19 test centre in Marbella.

Spanish Doctors Appeal To Brits

Doctors are now appealing for Brits in Spain not to overwhelm the system.  Dr. Matar-Mas said “this is a very serious thing we are doing, and some British men are treating our test centres like leisure centres.  It’s bad behaviour and it must stop.  If this persists then e will be considering deportations”.

Some expats have expressed outrage over the behaviour of some Brits.  Anne Fernandez runs a Facebook support group for Brits who express their outrage over things like Brexit and Spanish food labels being stuck over the English cooking instructions on microwave meals.  She says “My members are outraged by this!  Surely one test should be enough for anyone? Some people have had as many as twenty before getting banned.  It’s easy to spot them.  They are the ones sitting on rubber rings on the bus on the way home”.  

Stew Pidd

Stew Pidd was unable to vote for Donald Trump in the Brexit referendum.

Despite the mainly favourable reaction to the new covid-19 tests, there are still some who refuse to give in to common sense.  Stew Pidd is convinced that anything he doesn’t understand, especially satire, is fake news.  He says “It’s all rubbish, you’re being lied to.  It’s fake news!  Mainstream media are doing this, spreading the virus which doesn’t actually exist anyway.  I’ve done my research, I know for a fact. When I went to vote in the 2016 referendum on Brexit, Donald Trump’s name wasn’t even on the ballot!  There’s the proof right there! Educate yourself.”

Have you had one of the new coronavirus tests? Have your say in the comments section below.

Written by William Gates, Costa Del Sol Update.



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